Homebrewing

Having a job and a baby doesn't leave too much time for blogging and I figured this project had come to it's natural end.  However, I'm back by popular demand! I don't think too many people missed reading my blog, but I have had a LOT of friends mention they'd like to come over and eat during someone else's cooking session.
So basically back in... November... I went over to Eric's apartment to learn how to make beer.  It was a fun but chaotic day.  He had just finished building his beer brewing equipment and was still calculating the proportions and perfecting his set up.  I had the baby with me and had to take long Time Outs to put him down or feed him.  Also, it is now 4 months later and my notes look like they're written in Cyrillic.  So here's my disclaimer: you will never be able to make beer by reading this entry.  Just enjoy the pictures and find a good internet site.  Or buy a kit.


Brewmaster Eric

The Mash

So to make beer you have to order supplies like hops and gypsum and malt powder and yeast.  High Gravity Brewing and Wine Making Supplies is one internet company where you can do that.  You also need a lot of equipment.  Eric inherited some of his from an ancient ex-Prohibition era neighbor back in the California.  If you have all the stuff you will need to heat 1.1 qts of water per lb. of grain to 165 degrees, transfer it to a heated cooler with a filter system, add in the grain and then wait 90 minutes.  This is called The Mash.  Then you sparge (rinse off the sugars).  That means you spend about an hour pouring 165-170 degree water back over the grain.  Then you put all the liquid back in the brew pot, add hops, and boil the mess for about 90 minutes.  They you do some stuff with a heat exchanger and yeast (this is when the baby got fussy).


High tech cooling system

Then the baby started to lose it and I went home.  Eric continues to make beer on a regular basis, is the head of the Tegucigalpa Home Brewer's Association, and has something like an apprentice to carry on here when he moves to Colombia next year.  So there is hope that one day, I will be able to make my own beer. 

Peanut Pork

Manu models the dragon costume
for all of us.

Dominique came over with her sous chef, Marylu to make Thai food.  Dominique is the only person I know who can rock a Wonder Woman Halloween costume and not look silly.  Marylu is just sort of generally silly and likes to yell, "I love it, rasta!" whenever the urge strikes her.  So they make a good team.

the finished product

They brought so many ingredients with them that they wouldn't all fit in the pot.  We left some out and still had too much to eat.  AND they brought desert.  AND Dominique brought an awesome dragon Halloween costume for the baby that she found in New York.

Pork in Peanut Sauce

2 tsp grated ginger                                            1 1/2 lbs. pork loin cut in strips

3 cloves of garlic, thinly sliced                                  2 Tbsp. peanut oil

1/4 tsp red pepper flakes                                         1 red onion, chopped 

1/4 c. soy sauce                                                       1/2 c. chopped mushrooms

1/4 c. Thai fish sauce                                                1/2 c. sliced zucchini

1/2 c. chicken broth                                                 1 c. chopped broccoli

4 Tbsp. peanut butter                                               3/4 c. cashews

2 Tbsp. minced cilantro

rice stick noodles

**  Stir together all the ingredients on the left side in a bowl.  Put the pork in there to marinate.  Set aside.

**  Heat oil in a wok or stockpot.  Saute the onions for about a minute.  Add in the mixed vegetables and cook until slightly soft.  Add in the por and marinade.  Cook about 10 minutes, til pork is done.  Mix in the cashews.

**  Soak rice sticks in hot water for about 3 minutes.  Drain.  Serve pork on top of rice noodles.



Coconut Bananas in Sweetened Condensed Milk

4 large bananas, cut in half and then sliced down the middle

1 c. coconut milk

1 c. brown sugar

1 tsp. salt

1/2 c. sweetened condensed milk

**  Put the coconut in a small pot and bring to a boil.  Add the bananas and cook about 15 minutes.  Stir in the sugar and salt.  Add the sweetened condensed milk.  Remove from heat and serve warm.

Dragon Acrostic

Dungeons dank and dim produce
Roars!
A hungry dragon lurks below, 
Groaning for his dinner.
Ohhhhh! If only someone would make some peanut pork!
Nobody comes over to cook for a dragon.



Claw Soup/Sopa de Apretadores

My father-in-law does Man Cooking.  Man Cooking = barbecue, weekend projects, and the occasional breakfast (see El Chancho entry from 9/25/10 for another example).  A recent trip to the market got my suegro interested in the fresh seafood vendor.  He invented this recipe himself although people do eat something called Sopa de Apretadores along the Pacific coast here in Honduras.  For the broth he loosely followed the ingredient list in a seafood recipe he found in a old 1950's cookbook printed by "the wives of Honduran architects and engineers." Although I got a laugh out of the cookbook I suppose I'm their modern reincarnation.

My in-laws live on a small dairy farm. We went for a visit and got to eat this delicious soup.




The chef contemplates
his creation.

Claw Soup

1 1/2 lbs. king crab                                                     

1 1/2 lbs. squid                                                           

1 1/2 lbs. small lobster tails                                           

1 1/2 lbs. whole fish, like bass                                     

1 lb. shrimp
1 minced onion
1 minced green pepper
8 plum tomatoes, chopped
2 minced garlic cloves
1 c. white wine
rosemary
parsley
2 bay leaves                                                       

shrimp broth or bullion                                                 

cooked rice                                                                 

yup, that's a squid eye

** Clean the seafood. 

** Finely chop the veggies and garlic.  Saute the onion, garlic, and green pepper in a large stockpot in olive oil.  Add in the tomatoes and herbs, then the white wine and a liter of shrimp broth or water with bullion.  Bring to a boil and let this cook up about 15 min.

the love of my life becomes
a crab crushing machine

** Throw in the crab and the squid.  About 10 minutes later throw in the rest of the seafood.  You could add the fish into the broth in a strainer so it doesn't come apart and get bones in the soup.  Simmer for another 10 minutes and serve with rice.

                                                                     

Claw Soup Cinquain

Claw Soup

Pincers stick out

A tentacle unfurls

Crustaceans never tasted so good

Snap! Snap!

Choose Your Own Cheesecake

The only way you can go wrong with this one is if you're health-conscious.  Pam and I discussed our options via cell phone while I was grocery shopping and she gave me many, many varieties of cheesecake to choose from.  We decided to go for the ultimate chocolate mint cheesecake with Oreo crust.  When we baked the crust, butter ran out of the springform pan and dripped into my oven.  I actually reduced the butter in the recipe below.  We licked the spoons and the bowls as we cooked.  We didn't even wait for the cheesecake to cool completely before digging in.  

  

Cheesecake

Crust:

30 Oreos or wafer cookies or graham crackers

3/4 stick of butter, melted

Filling:

24 oz. cream cheese

1 Tbsp. vanilla extract

3/4 c. sugar

3 eggs

2 Tbsp. milk or cream or mantequilla (if you're Honduran)

10 oz. chocolate chips or peanut butter chips or mint chocolates or butterscotch chips or fruit preserves

** Squish your choice of cookies into bits.  Or put them in the blender and pulse until coarse crumbs form.

Pour into a bowl and add in the melted butter.  Pat mixture into the bottom of a springform pan, squishing it up the sides a bit.  Stick the crust in the oven while the oven preheats to 350 degrees.  Then take it out.

** Combine the filling in a bowl and beat with a handmixer.  If you're using a variety of "chip" melt it in the microwave before you add it in.  If you're using fruit preserves don't put them in yet.

** When the filling is mixed pour it into the springform on top of the crust.  Stick the pan in the oven and bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour.  When the cheesecake is done the outside will have set but the middle may be a bit jiggly.  If you are using fruit preserves spread them over the top now.

**  Wait for the cake to cool.  Refridgerate before eating.

Make mint chocolate cheesecake

if that will please you.

If you like strawberries

make that one, too!

Make one with blueberries.

Make one with white chocolate.

Make one with caramel.

Then make some more-

make one with peanut butter

one with Nilla wafers.

Make so many cheesecakes

they explode out your door.

Your neighbors won't hate you

if the street's full of cheesecake

they'll hug you and kiss you and make you cook more

they'll choose their own cheesecake

and you'll keep cooking cheesecake

til cheesecake reigns

and takes over the world.



Pastel de Cebolla/Onion Pie

My husband says I'm the only person in history to get along with my mother-in-law.  But look at what she can do! She can cook onion pies, make curtains, lend out chicken cages, and whip my dog into shape.  This is a recipe she got from her mother-in-law, who got it from her mother, who got it from a Guatemalan woman.  I'm back at work now, so I'm stockpiling food over the weekends.  This is a good lunch to take to work.  It's sort of like a double-crust quiche and it fills the kitchen with goodbad smells.  Like onions and bacon fat.  Yeah.

If you don't like savory stuff, you can leave the sugar out of the crust. 

Onion Pie

Crust:                                                                            Filling:

2 1/2 c. flour                                                                 3 eggs

1 tsp. salt                                                                      salt and pepper

2 eggs                                                                           1 c. cream

1/2 c. sugar                                                                   4 oz. parmesan cheese

1/2 c. milk                                                                     1 lb. onions, cut in thin half circles

1/4 c. shortening                                                            1/2 lb. bacon

1/4 c. butter

**  Boil the onions in water for half an hour.  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.



the filling



**  Combine crust ingredients.  Divide dough into 2 lumps, one slightly larger than the other.  Roll the lumps out into circles.  Put the larger circle in the bottom of a pie pan, crimping the edges.  Cut the second circle into strips and set aside. 


 

**  Fry the bacon.  Strain off the fat.  Take the onions from the boiling water and add them to the bacon.  Continue to fry until the onions are nicely fried.  Strain off any extra fat. 



Nana started telling us how to
do it so she was put to work!



**  Add the eggs, cream, salt and pepper, and parmesan to the onion mixture.  Stir to combine.

**  Pour mixture into pie crust.  Weave the crust strips over the top.

**  Cook at 350 degrees for one hour.

Goodbad Smells and Other Confusion

Sometimes

life gets confusing.

Is something funny

like hahaha

or funny like weird?

If the quiche got funny

it's funny bad.

Bacon smells good

but it's bad.

Broccoli smells bad

but it's good.

Inhaling gasoline fumes = bad

but they smell good.

Whip-its are funny hahaha

but they smell funny bad.

Not that I know anything about that.

I have friends

at Dairy Queen.

El Chancho/The Pig Roast

My husband's Uncle Juan celebrated his 50th birthday over the weekend.  And for his birthday he decided he'd like to roast a pig, Cuban style.  I agreed to do on-site blog reporting of this event with more than a little trepidation.  Back in the U.S. I was a vegetarian for 14 years.  Now that I eat meat I feel like I understand exactly where it comes from.  I can eat fish with the eyes still in them.  I even ate some chickens I helped raise.  But a piglet on a spit? Piglets are very close to puppies in my mind.  And I draw the line at puppies.

We stopped by Juan's house in the morning to see how things were going.  The pig was already mounted on the metal device Juan had built just for her.  My initial reaction was dismay.  We took some pictures and went home to give piggy time to cook. 
We went back to Juan's house in the afternoon.  The pig was a darker color and juices were starting to drip out of its... holes. People mingled and talked, kids played, babies were admired.  It got later.  The pig was not yet cooked to perfection.  Then it started raining.  The family served all the other food, and the pig was carved up about an hour later.  I hate to admit it, but I couldn't do it.  However, I wasn't alone.  Someone asked Juan's wife how the pig turned out and she just shook her head.  "No,"she said, "I can't eat it. It's grossing me out."

Cuban Pig Roast

1 pig                                                                    water

salt                                                                       wood

** First you need to find a pig.  If it's alive, you'll need to kill it, take the innards out, and shave it.  I cannot believe I'm writing this.  If you're ordering your pig from a butcher you should ask him or her to make only small incisions when s/he takes out the organs.  You should calculate 1 lb. of pig per person.  Each person will not really eat a pound of pork, this factors in the weight of the bones and hooves.
** Burn firewood down to coals.  They should still be hot when you mount the pig over them but there should not be flames.  The coals should be assembled in 2 piles.  One should be under the pig's head and the other should be under his hind legs.

** Open the pig's mouth and drive a stake into his butt.  Push it through til it comes out his mouth.  I cannot believe I'm writing this.

** Cooking time is calculated by cooking 1 hour per every 10 lbs. of pig.  However, Juan's pig took longer than calculated.  This might have been because his coals weren't hot enough.

** Half an hour before the pig is finished spray it with a salt water mix.

     Food Haiku #1
        It's lunch time again!
  What's that cooking on the coals?
        Oh.  Pig on a stick.

Sopa de Tortilla

Rafa is breaking ground in several ways.  He's the first male to come over and cook and he's also the first to make something that is commonly eaten here in Honduras, sopa de tortilla.


We discussed ingredients over the phone and then I had to go to the store.  I would've tried to convince him to pick up the things I was missing, but he was at home with 2 kids, which trumped me and the baby (and gives him even more Modern Man points).  I sweet talked my grandmother-in-law into watching the baby in exchange for a loaf of bread and some milk.  Left the baby at her house, ran for the car, couldn't find my wallet, ran back to her house, found it in the diaper bag, ran back to the car, drove real fast to the store, piled everything into a cart, drove it home, unloaded, walked back to Nana's where she had Nico on the bed listening to Guantanamera, grabbed the baby, scurried back home, and started laying things out for the soup.

When Rafa and his wife came over we started chopping and boiling.  It was hot.  I mean really hot.  The soup took about an hour to make with 2 people working together.  This seems a little labor intensive to me, so I think when I make it myself I'll make a lot and freeze the broth.  Then when it's thawed I'll only have to prepare all the condiments. We ate soup, and then the baby went to bed and we drank wine and beer and watched the intros to old cartoons on YouTube.  We sang along to He-Man, ThunderCats, and Jem.  Sometimes in English, sometimes in Spanish.  Then they showed me a bizzaro Heidi cartoon that was apparently quite popular in Honduras. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXW31ZyorVA  There's a yodelly intro song and Heidi's a suspiciously Japanese-looking brunette.  Trippy.

Sopa de Tortilla

1 onion                                                    12-15 tortillas, cut into strips

5 plum tomatoes (or a can)                       oil

3 green peppers                                       mantequilla (sour cream for USA)

2 celery stalks                                          queso seco (Monterey Jack for USA)

2 garlic cloves                                         3 avocados

2 boneless chicken breasts                      cilantro

5 stock cubes

1/2 sm. can of tomato paste

achiote (optional)

dried chiles pasillos

salt and pepper to taste

** Boil all the veggies with the chicken breasts in a stockpot until the chicken is cooked through.

** Take the chicken out and shred it.  Set aside.

** Seperate the veggies from the broth and liquify them with about 1 c. of broth.  Set aside the veggie puree.

fried tortilla strips

** Into the broth add the stock cubes, tomato paste, dried chile and spices.  Add in some of the veggie puree to thicken the soup.  Simmer 20 min.

** Meanwhile, fry the tortilla strips in shallow oil.  Drain on paper towels.

** Chop the cilantro and avocado.  Grate the cheese.  Put each condiment into its own individual bowl so that each person can put their own toppings.



all the add-ins

  Kitchen Crusaders

If I were in a superhero crew

       We would be the Kitchen Crusaders     

We would chop and hack and slice and dice

and flatten our enemies like tortillas

And maybe I'd be Japanese

like Heidi